Glee; That Lovable Harpoon to the Soul

"You will come first of all to the Sirens, who are enchanters

of all mankind and whoever comes their way; and that man

who unsuspecting approaches them, and listens to the Sirens

singing, has no prospect of coming home and delighting

his wife and little children as they stand about him in greeting,

but the Sirens by the melody of their singing enchant him.”

- The Odyssey, Homer

Never has a show expected me to so liberally suspend my disbelief as Glee.  It is a cruel mistress, luring you in with its auto-tuned siren song just to leave your rotting flesh floating in Poseidon’s domain.  Remember that it may always be tempting, but it’s usually best sail on by, lest you suffer the crimes of time wasted at its nimble hand. 

I have almost never had the desire to write about a TV show before, let alone this one.  However (stick with me here), Glee could potentially be monumental for the future of Broadway.  When people of the theater ask me if it is important that they follow the show, I reluctantly say yes.  Think of it this way: many generations ago, the movie musical was in the forefront of popular entertainment.  Showtunes topped the top forty.  Until the storytelling techniques in entertainment became more realistic and the attraction the musicals became more compartmentalized.  By the time I became involved in the theater, the idea of liking a musical was gauche and theater news was rarely followed or maintained.  It's gotten slightly better in the past several years, but compare it to the phenomenon that was Spider-Man.  By the time I got home for Thanksgiving this year, it was the only musical that the average American could even tell you was on Broadway.  I've sat in on research groups about theatrical awareness where housewives from New Jersey said they wanted to get tickets for their family to a show that closed 7 years ago.  If the demographics for Broadway were going to skew any older, every performance would have to be a matinee. 

And then came Glee.  Now, all of the sudden, today’s generation thinks its sort of cool to be un-cool and that makes musicals a-ok!  This news delights the theatrical community because it confirms our future employment.  The only trick is going to be maintaining a connection with the audience based on the expectations that Glee has supplied on our behalf.  These will be the ticket-buyers of tomorrow and to not pay attention would be doing the community a disservice.  

Also, this shit happens to be the guiltiest pleasure known to man. 

This season was a rocky one.  Typical boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets boy, boy gets girl, boy loses boy, etc.  It offered a little too much Gwyneth Paltrow and Sue Sylvester, which, in both cases, a little goes a long way. But that’s not to say I don’t get suckered in every single time.  This week’s season finale was no exception. 

The Good: 

This episode had me right off the bat with the panoramic views of Times Square while “Rhapsody in Blue” twinkled in the background.  I am glad that this footage exists because now I have proper documentation of the formation of billboards during the end of the 2010-2011 Broadway season.  Whenever I see a movie that takes place in New York, I can date it within a month of when it was shot based on the marquees, so this could prove useful down the line.  

We were treated to the best Sardi’s scene caught on film since The Muppets Take Manhattan.  Patti LuPone does a charming cameo with a lovely throwaway joke as she exits.  It’s been so long since I’ve Patti do television that I had almost forgotten she knew the meaning of "underplay". 

One word: Charice.  If you don’t know who this girl is, watch this video:  (skip to :57)

Granted, she doesn’t do so well when they let her talk.  But when they let her sing, it’s always a home run.  This is the best Filipina teenage vocalist the world has seen since Lea Salonga hit the scene in 1989.  We're talking goosebump vocals here.  

There was a lovely little scene with Kurt and Rachel where they were having breakfast at Tiffany’s and “Moon River” swooned in the background.  Then, the duo breaks into the Gershwin Theater (my disbelief was so suspended that it almost snapped- in reality, Nederlander security would have brought them to their knees) where they got to stand on the stage of Wicked to sing one of its duets.  I suppressed my thought that this was Lea Michele’s attempt to (yet again) use this as a platform to audition for the movie adaptation of Wicked.  I let the emotion of the moment take over, which it did.  Like in every three episodes of the show, the characters express their sincere joy for performing and it become so truthful of everything I lived in high school that I can’t help but lose myself in blind emotion that I instantly regret. 

Also, Quinn got a haircut. 

The Bad:

Not even one minute into the episode and  I was frustrated.  The glee club jumped through hurdles all season long.  They finally succeed and they make it to New York City.  So do you know what they reveal?  They don’t have any material to sing.  I don’t mean to say that they hadn't yet chosen their material.  No, in this ridiculous case, it’s not even written yet and they only have two days to dream it up.  And then write it.  And then learn it.  And then orchestrate it.  And then choreograph it.  And then tech it.  Oh, I’m sorry- that's what would happen in reality, not in Glee.  The audience for this show must always remember above all that Glee is a magical land where the writers will try to feed you total malarkey about the process of theatrical production.

There were a few original songs this week which were totally non-descript.  I even took notes on this shit and I couldn’t tell you a thing.  The song I vaguely remember is the one the group performed in the competition.  You know, the song that sounded like Ke$ha by way of Kidz Bop.

During a montage, reality was out the window yet again as the club traveled from the Intercontinental Hotel Times Square to Duffy Square, Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, back to Lincoln Center, 56^th and 5^th, Central Park, back to Washington Square, and the TKTS Booth before they ultimately finished in Lincoln Center.  I checked this one out on google maps; that’s a total of 16.4 miles.  This all took place in 2 minutes which were supposed to represent a single afternoon.  This is the stuff that makes me pull my hair out one strand at a time.  Then, at the end of the number, Artie’s wheelchair was perched dangerously above the perimeter of the fountain at Lincoln Center.  Did the the group him up there?  That couldn't be safe. And just how is he going to get down? 

And then we get to the plot.  This season, we have been given every single relationship combination we thought possible, some of them 2 or 3 times.  But just when you thought they had exhausted their options, get Mercedes and Trouty Lips.  What the hell is that all about?!  In terms of story, the most interesting thing that could have happened at the end of this season would have been for Mr. Shue to have taken that much-debated job on Broadway.  But because this is Glee and every time the plot takes one step forward, it has to take two giant leaps back, Shue loves the kids too much to go and he ultimately stays put.    As for the group not making it to nationals, allow me get into the headspace of the Glee "faculty".  What is going to happen now that New Directions didn’t make the cut?   Well, they're going to have to spend the summer making up a cute story about how, although the group was ranked #12 and the cut-off is #10, it's likely that teams #8 and #9 with both mysteriously be disqualified.  If you think that sounds totally bizarre, keep in mind what show we're talking about here.  

Anyway, enjoy the summer totally free of new episodes while you secretly set your DVR to record the reruns.  Until next season's big Glee-miere, we'll just have to imagine the new ways they dream of to frustrate their loyal audience.